M4J0R GL0RY — FILE ACCESSED // VIGILANTE

⚠ FILE STATUS: MILITARY RECORDS REQUESTED — PENDING

SUBJECT ID: MG-████-0077 | RANK "MAJOR": NOT FOUND IN ANY BRANCH DATABASE
SERVICE RECORD: FOIA REQUEST SUBMITTED — AWAITING RESPONSE | THUNDER SFX: AMAZON ORDER #████████ — $12.99 BLUETOOTH SPEAKER

DOSS13R — RANK UNVERIFIED

SUBJECT: M4JOR GLORY — IS HE A MAJOR?

Major Glory is billed as rising above and rallying "the Rising and Longmont faithful alike." VIGILANTE FINDING: A FOIA request to all branches of the US Armed Forces returned 0 records matching the name "████████ ████████" at the rank of Major. Request reference: FOIA-████████. Status: no match found.

ENTRANCE THUNDER SOUND EFFECT: Identified via audio fingerprint as "Epic Thunder Crash Vol. 3" from ████████ Royalty-Free SFX Library. Playback device: Anker Soundcore Mini Bluetooth Speaker, Amazon order #████████, purchased ████████, cost: $12.99. Speaker: taped under ring apron.

The character "Major Glory" appears to have been constructed from: a surplus military jacket purchased at ████████ thrift store ($██), an unverified rank designation, and $12.99 worth of sound effects. Total character budget: estimated $██.99.

FOIA REQUEST RESPONSE — PENDING — EXPECTED ████████ JACKET PROVENANCE — PURCHASE RECEIPT FROM ████████ THRIFT — ON FILE ACTUAL BACKGROUND — ████████████████████████████████████████

foia-search --branch all --rank major --name "████████"

Army: 0 results | Navy: 0 results | Marines: 0 results

Air Force: 0 results | Coast Guard: 0 results | Space Force: 0 results

TOTAL: 0 service records found. Rank unverified.

identify-audio thunder-entrance.wav

Match: "Epic Thunder Crash Vol. 3" — royalty-free — $0.00 license